i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
