what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
