It's Friday. Sex?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
