I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So vagazzling was a success
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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