I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
