I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
