Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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