its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
