you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
