your parents love me but you hate me
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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