I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
