this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
