I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
