I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
