I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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