This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The struggles of a small town man whore
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
