she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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