"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
