Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Im part way to drunk.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
