told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
