I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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