Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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