hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
