Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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