I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
