im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
