dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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