No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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