I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
