summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I stole a fireplace last night.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
