she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
