They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
