I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
