Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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