I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
