I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
