Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
