what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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