I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
