I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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