Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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