I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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