I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
im holly from the hills drunk
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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