Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
