How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
