If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Im part way to drunk.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
