i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
As shirtless as possible
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
