Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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