You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
