Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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