I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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